In our previous forays to Duke City, Durel and I had focused on things like eating green chiles by the truckload, smelling the burning pinon with rapture, and trying to be tourists without looking like tourists.

Four year olds are not widely known for their ability to eat spicy food by the truckload or smell things as a finite activity.  (Well, maybe the latter isn't true, but if they can do that, we are choosing to smell different things.)

So, we broadened our scope.  As it turns out, Albuquerque is home to the New Mexico Museum of Natural History and Science.  They have lots of cool dinosaur stuff there, on the regular. 

But, wait for it, when we were there, they also had a traveling exhibit of ROBOT DINOSAURS.  

I'll let Jack's face do the talking here.

Sawyer didn't really care.  But the rest of us thought it was pretty cool.

the one where we fly with two littles

Jack is not a seasoned traveler.

Trust me, we tried.  We flew to South Padre Island with my parents when Jack was a baby.  He was cute until the plane took off, at which time he started screaming so loud that other mothers on the plane rushed to my aid.  We did manage to get a cute picture of him near the cockpit.

Looking back at this, I clearly see in his eyes that he is about to let us have it.
I think the stewardess can feel it, too.

We also flew with Jack to Florida when he was slightly older and had a broken leg.  I can't even describe this flight in any more detail or I'll start to sweat from the memories of it all.  The blog post describing that was titled "Toddlerpocalypse." 

But we hadn't been to Albuquerque in ten years, Durel and I.  Which is entirely unacceptable.  And so, with the courage that comes from a few stressful weeks at work and a nice Pinot Noir, we had plane tickets and a plan.  The Bernards were going to the desert.

How was that, you ask?  

Can you fly direct from Austin to Albuquerque, you ask?

No, you cannot.  

Sigh.

Durel and I got up at 4:30 a.m. to shower, have coffee, and load the car.  We got the boys into the car (Jack even got dressed!) and were on our way.  We used the family friendly valet at the Austin airport which is THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD, and were through security without too much trouble.  My friend had lent me one of those things where you tie your baby onto you (the name of which I can never remember, but it's less cumbersome than a Moby).  

We felt good.  Really good.

We were scheduled to change planes in Dallas at Love Field.  They've recently renovated Love Field and it's totally nice now. 

Thank goodness for this.  

We had some breakfast.  We had more coffee.  We colored a picture.

And then, we learned that our one hour layover was extended, oh, indefinitely.  I'll save you the suspense.  It was extended to five hours.  

Did we lose our minds?  No.  Did we give our children to wandering gypsies?  No.  Did we tear our hair out?  Not really.  

We had lunch.  We visited all the shops.  We explored the terminal.  We colored pictures.  We made paper airplanes out of those pictures.  We learned that it's harder than you remember to make a good paper airplane.  We practiced our letters on the dry erase board.  We had snacks.  I adversely possessed the family bathroom.  All in all, we thrived and survived.

And arrived.

And as a testament to his awesomeness, not that we needed one, Sawyer slept most of the day.  Praise be.

Cristy and Dagwood were not only happy to see us, but they were prepared to reward our long day of travel with beverages containing alcohol.  We were happy to see them, too.  

It was not that bad.  And it was the only 'bump' in a great trip.

Hope you tell the first part of a super awesome story today.

Talk soon,

Heather

there shall be poo

Before Jack arrived, I was given this golden nugget of parenting advice:

If the blow-out is too bad, throw the onesie away.

When blow-outs happen, they scramble your brain.  You don't want to do what you know you have to do.  You panic nonsensically that you might have to use like TEN WIPES.  You don't understand why you went to graduate school.  It didn't prepare you for this.  Nothing has.  And how does the baby choose THAT MOMENT to smile at you, looking so pleased with himself?

I've shared the advice.  I've had friends come back to me and thank me for it.  Because their babies' blow-outs scrambled their brains, too, and the one clear thought they could muster was that it's okay to toss the bit of cotton and snaps that probably came from Target.  You don't have to clean it.  You are already demeaning yourself enough.

*     *     *     *     *

Sawyer and I took Jack to the dentist the other day.  He chose that moment to have a massive blow-out.  And, with the grit and determination of a second time mother, I cleaned it up and saved the onesie.  Because it's the fancy onesie with Texas and the guitar on it.

When you finish that selfie, you will realize that I have just shit in your lap, Mom.
I love you.

Sawyer was pretty pleased with himself.

Sawyer:  One
Mama:  Zero

Hope your dignity remains intact today.

Talk soon,
Heather

thanks, costco, for reminding me how old my baby is getting

Jack used to love the pizza at Costco.  (Flashback) case in point:

Remember the time he ate two pieces?  I do.

He now prefers the hot dogs.  FYI.

Yes, he ate an entire one pound Costco hot dog.  Don't judge.

And if you are at the South Costco, I recommend the potty in the tire section.

Jack recommends taking a break to count the tires after your break for the potty.

We grow, we change, we count things.

Hope you have a surprisingly cheap meal today.

Talk soon,
Heather

Wildlife, Part Two

So, the second reason that the San Antonio Zoo rocked our socks off the other weekend is this.  Wait for it.

It has a petting zoo.

Yes, I am aware that lots of zoos have petting zoos, but this one was great.  They have a variety of goats and pigs for the kids to pet.  They have a zoo employee (who is good with children, natch) there to make sure everyone shares, plays nicely, etc.  They have brushes for the kids to use as they get all lovey with the animals.  

Did Jack like it?  Pshaw.

I am touching two pigs right now!

Minds were blown.  Pretty sure it was just normal business for the pigs, but they made Jack feel special.

Hey Pig, how's it going? How's your mom?

Me:  Jack, can I have a smile?
Jack:  Nooo.  I am petting a pig.

Jack's love of goats is well documented.  And the goats were a big hit,  yet again.

When I grow up, I want to be a goat petter.

Hope your day is goat-a-riffic.  And that you wash your hands after.

Heather

Wildlife, Part One

Last weekend, Durel and Jack and I went to the San Antonio Zoo.  To be honest, Durel and I have mixed emotions about zoos.  It makes us sad to see all of those gorgeous wild animals locked up in captivity.  In fact, we've visited a few zoos that we will not go back to because the habitats provided to the animals are just unacceptable to us.  (Not pointing any fingers, but I'm looking at you, CityofHouston.) 

No, we're not all Jack Hanna up in here, we just love AND RESPECT animals, and want Jack to do the same.  So, a zoo has to be good.  Guess what?  The San Antonio Zoo is good.

[Stepping off soapbox]

Oh, what did we see, you ask?  We saw a crazy cool grizzly bear with claws like WOAH.

We saw a Komodo dragon and then had a photo opp on a bronze one.  Look at my handsome guys!

We saw, as Jack says, ELLIES!  

Uh, can I stop posing now and look at the ELLIES?

For what it's worth, I was reminded during this trip that I am actually quite fond of ellies, too.  So, I played with the camera a bit.

You guys, it was so much fun.  FUN, I tell you.  More pictures to come because, you know why?  The SA Zoo has a petting zoo section. 

Hold onto your hats.  Or goats, as it were.

Heather

Caption Contest!

Caption this picture of happy Jack!

What will you win:  My wholehearted appreciation and lifelong devotion.  (I don't have any extra iPads laying around to give away.  Sorry.)

Why:  Because, this picture is begging for it.

Ready?  Set?  Go!

Tough Guys

One year ago, Jack and his buddies from school dragged their mamas to a local pumpkin patch after school to play and have their pictures taken.  The kiddos were all about 7-8 months old, and some of them weren't sure how much fun they were having.  We lined them up in front of some big pumpkins and giggled while we took pictures.

This is how that went:

Isaac, Emma (about to be a big sister!), Jack, Gabe (about to be a big brother!), Eli, and Mac.

This year, of course we had to do it again.

I was smart enough to leave my camera at home, knowing full well that there would be a slew of really fancy cameras with very capable moms behind them to make it worth my while.  I figured there would be a fair amount of toddler chasing, so I even thought ahead to wear pants and toddler-chasing shoes.

I was right about the cameras, and my outfit choice was apt.  I had underestimated our toddlers by a bit, though.  They covered every inch of that pumpkin patch.  They climbed stairs.  They ran into the family photos of unsuspecting families.  They rolled pumpkins down hills.  They giggled at each other and called each other's names.  (They do that now.)  They thwarted our very best attempts to get them in one spot for a picture, much less looking the same way.  

I don't yet know whether the camera-wielding mamas got some great shots.  I sure hope so.  Here's what I got:

Mac, Jack, and Eli cornering the market on the little pumpkins.
Note:  Eli looks very cute.

Jack was not dressed for the occasion.  In fact, he had such fun during craft time at school that he had to borrow a shirt from his nattily-dressed buddy, Eli, so that he didn't look like a total goober in the pictures.  He was, however, eager to prove that he is a tough guy this year.

Did you say we were going to the gun show?

I hope that Jack and his buddies stay buddies for a long, long time.  And I hope that they continue to drag their cooperative mamas and their fancy cameras to this pumpkin patch for a long time.  And I hope that I never stop being surprised or entertained by the fun stories that we make there.

He does believe in the Great Pumpkin.  Why do you ask?

Heather

Dogs with Horns

Last weekend, all of our hearts were made happy by a lovely visit from Nancy.  Nancy and I have been friends for (gulp) 18 years, since our freshman year at Bates in the twin cities of the Androscoggin.  

Since then, we've both had our shares of adventures, moves, new cities, good jobs, bad jobs, treasured moments, and things we'd rather forget.  During all of that, we've remained able to finish each other's sentences and know when it's *just time* for a Diet Coke.  Best friends are your family, and she definitely is.

Last year, Nancy came to visit in October, and we made our merry way to Sweetberry Farm for some frolicking in the pumpkin patch.  (I'm trying to lobby for this to become an annual trip.  Totally doable, right?)  Anyway, last year, Nancy snapped this priceless picture.  Remember?  I do.

That makes my ovaries hurt.

This year, Jack was much less interested in making cherubic poses while calmly sitting among the pumpkins. This year, Jack was super toddler head explosion excited about the fact that the farm has GOATS.  That's right, goats.  That you can pet, and feed, and poke, and giggle about.  Upon our arrival at the farm, we head straight to the goats.

One thing, though, Jack called them dogs.  

In Jack's mind, animals are either dogs, bears, or dinosaurs.  He's on the verge of figuring out elephants, too.  But if an animal is brown-ish and has 4 legs, and is not a bear, then it's a dog.  This means that goats are dogs with horns.

Still good for the petting, though.

Did you know they have dogs here?

I think I might pet one.

I am totally touching this dog with my finger.

I might even stick my finger in its eye.

So, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar...

Hope your day involves some dogs with horns, or at least something furry,
Heather

Our Green Friend

Yo Gabba Gabba has introduced a lot of good lessons and fun catchphrases into our lives.  I mean, who doesn't want a party in their tummy? (So yummy!  So yummy!)  And who doesn't like a good dancey dance from time to time?  (Let's be real.  I do.)  

And who doesn't love the green, striped little guy named Brobee?

For the uninitiated (who are still reading), Brobee is a little kid.  He gets scared of stuff.  He isn't sure he wants to try new snacks sometimes.  He plays the drums.  And when told he needed a shampoo, he asked, incredulously, "A Magic Shamu?" (Maybe you  had to be there.)

Dude.  He's popular.

You can be him for Halloween.

No matter how old you are, it appears.

He can top your birthday cake.

Or he can *be* your birthday cake.

Or, he can be your veggie tray.
(Though it does sort of look like he's pooping green beans.  Sorry.  Doesn't it, though?)

Or, he can be your best friend.

That's what Jack opted for.

We found Brobee at Target, and he came home with us after Jack stoically received his 18 month shots earlier this week.  (And by stoic, I mean, he did the silent scream until his face turned purple, and then when he reached the level of sound that human ears can hear, it resonated inside my skull for several minutes afterward.)  We're good.  

May there be no silent screams and many parties in your tummy this weekend,

Heather

Surf's Up

Without a leg cast to crimp his style, Jack took to the beach like, well, a fish to water.

Is that the water?  I should go check it out.

Ooh, Dad's going!  I have to go with him!

Dad time on the beach is the double best.

More to come.  Hope all is well where you are.

Heather

What Would You Have Done?

Durel and I just got back from a fabulous long weekend at the beach with my parents.  We had a gorgeous beach house, yummy seafood, an infinity pool ... in other words, it rocked.

The other thing that rocked about it was that Jack could actually get into the water, be it Gulf or pool.  If you cast your memories back to our other (lovely) vacation in Florida this summer, Jack was doing his best Peg Leg impression a cast on his broken leg.  That meant that beach, pool, and bath (all forms of water, in fact), were off limits to him.

Oh how I love the Interwebs.  Seriously.

You may also recall that our trip to Florida has gone down in the annals of history as Toddlerpocalypse.  This is because, well, just read about it here.  I can't even bear to recap except to say:  We flew.  It sucked.

For this trip, we drove.  We tried to outsmart Jack, based on our last experience.  We worked full days at the office.  We came home and fed Jack dinner.  We got him ready for bed, including overnight diaper and jammie jams.  Then, we loaded his (tired) little toddler butt into the car for the four hour drive to our waterfront destination.  

Needless to say, our thought was that after a full day at school, rollin' with his homies, a dinner and his pj's, he would sleep.

Did he sleep?  No.

What did he do?  

Did I stop him?  No.

Why?  Because he wasn't crying.

What would you have done?

Have you read about the Toddlerpocalypse yet?

If not, go back, read it, and then ask yourself again:  What would you have done?

I thought not,
Heather

Beach Boys

I'm not usually wordless, even on Wednesday.  But I think this speaks for itself.

Don't you?

Heather

Butterfly

I decided to take a quick flashback to vacation today.  One afternoon, Durel, Jack and I decided to take on Key West.  It was hotter than the surface of the sun, so we didn't do much.

We did two things, though.  We sat on the porch of an old-fashioned ice cream shop and shared a dish of key lime sorbet between the three of us.  That's good stuff.

We also went to the Southernmost Point in the United States.  Well, we were one pier over from the one that everyone takes pictures of, which looks like this:

We could have walked over to it to take a picture.  We did not, because it was hotter than the surface of the sun, and walking to the end of the pier would have negated all the cooling effects of the sorbet we had just eaten.

We also stopped at a cool butterfly conservatory.  If you do not have a toddler, you read that sentence and assume that we went through the conservatory.  You would be wrong.  If you have a toddler, and have been reading closely about our TWO events already completed on a day when it's hotter than the surface of the sun, your guess is that we did not go through the conservatory.  You would be right.

We did however, in the great tradition of my family, go to the gift shop.  We got little presents for Jack's teachers, and took this picture of our Boy as Butterfly outside:

Hope your day has a cool treat and a butterfly in it,
Heather

Samples

You know what's awesome?  When you are at the grocery store and your kiddo gets hungry and there are samples EVERYWHERE.

You know what else is awesome?  When the samples include Boursin cheese, focaccia bread, and freshly made tortillas.  And your kiddo eats EVERYTHING.

That's artisan chese focaccia, you know.

Hope you have some cheesy bread today,
Heather