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Existential Baby Questions

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Being a mom has expanded my vocabulary quite a bit.  I now toss around words like Boppy, Bumbo, swaddle, Mylicon, and poopy all the time.  (Not that I didn't know the word "poopy" before, but as an attorney, I didn't use it much.)  What can I say?  I'm learning.

But, as my analytical mind processes some of the idiocracies of motherhood, I have some questions.  These aren't rhetorical.  If you have answers, please feel free to provide them.  They are stumping me a bit.

  • What is the point of a burp cloth that is 4 inches wide when a baby spits up in an 8 inch diameter?
  • Why doesn't anyone tell you that spit up stains your clothes?
  • What is baby oil for?  I mean, really?
The first two questions came to mind the other night, as Jack proceeded to vomit forcefully all over my top, completely missing my cute and well-placed burp cloth.  Damn.

He proceeded to smile angelically for the picture, of course.  I moved said burp cloth to cover said stain and smile, myself.  Hey, if you can't beat'em, join'em.


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3 comments:

  1. About DanielleApril 15, 2010 at 6:15 AM

    I am so glad Court finally got to come over! YAY!

    As for questions -
    1. I used receiving blankets instead of the traditional burp cloth.. baby + acid reflux = need for wider protection!
    2. I didn't worry about my stains to much after all, I am always staining my clothes!
    3. Baby oil and Baby lotion not necessities. Baby's skin is so naturally moisture rich, I am sure it was a little American commercialism.

    ReplyDelete
  2. CristyApril 15, 2010 at 7:21 AM

    Maybe we should market burp burkas-- head to toe protection from baby vomit!

    ReplyDelete
  3. @JessEscoApril 15, 2010 at 9:03 AM

    Precious!! I love the good thick not-so-fancy burp cloths from Target/Walmart. No fancy here! They are for pukies!

    You're doing awesome :)

    ReplyDelete

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Existential Baby Questions

Being a mom has expanded my vocabulary quite a bit.  I now toss around words like Boppy, Bumbo, swaddle, Mylicon, and poopy all the time.  (Not that I didn't know the word "poopy" before, but as an attorney, I didn't use it much.)  What can I say?  I'm learning.

But, as my analytical mind processes some of the idiocracies of motherhood, I have some questions.  These aren't rhetorical.  If you have answers, please feel free to provide them.  They are stumping me a bit.

  • What is the point of a burp cloth that is 4 inches wide when a baby spits up in an 8 inch diameter?
  • Why doesn't anyone tell you that spit up stains your clothes?
  • What is baby oil for?  I mean, really?
The first two questions came to mind the other night, as Jack proceeded to vomit forcefully all over my top, completely missing my cute and well-placed burp cloth.  Damn.

He proceeded to smile angelically for the picture, of course.  I moved said burp cloth to cover said stain and smile, myself.  Hey, if you can't beat'em, join'em.


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