I Fought the Law and...Cheeseburger Won

Friday, February 26, 2010

So, I am not entirely sure I should admit this, but I'm going to.  I was pulled over this morning on the way to work for talking on my cell phone. 

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, I wasn't driving like a crazy person, swerving or being erratic.  I just happened to be on the phone in a school district.  Uh, I'm not sure when that became law, but I definitely missed the fact that you can't be on your cell phone, at all, while driving through a school district.  Which is why I was brazenly chatting away with my sister while a cop drove right by me.

He did an impressive U-turn and my stomach started to sink.  Yup, he was coming for me.  Oh, crap.  I dutifully pulled over into a parking lot.  Cheeseburger and I were being detained by Johnny Law.

He came to the window and it was Cheeseburger's time to shine.  The police officer, it turns out, is a new parent himself.  It went something like this:

Me:   Good morning.

JL:  Good morning ma'am.  I saw you with your cell phone up to your ear.  Were you aware that you cannot talk on a cell phone in a school zone?

Me:  (honest gasp)  No...no, I didn't.  I'm so sorry.

[As I was reacting, I saw JL's eyes magnetically go straight to my fuschia-clad belly, which is now officially the size of a watermelon.  It was as if CB was waving hello while his inept carrier -- me-- apologized for totally and completely breaking the law like an idiot.]

JL:  [Looking back to the inept human carrier -- me]  Well, I'll just give you a warning, given your condition and all.  Uh, do you have your license and proof of insurance?

Me:  I am so sorry.  Thank you.  I was just telling my sister that I could go into labor at any time.

JL:  (eyes wide)  Ma'am,areyouinlabornow???

Me:  (realizing that he was about to go all lights and sirens and escort me to the hospital)  No, no.  I am not.  I just wanted her to be prepared for when it happens.

JL:  Okay, okay.  I'll be right back with that warning.



One warning later, I learned that JL's son is eight months old, day care is a germ factory, and that he wishes CB and I the best of luck when the big moment arrives.  I drove away unscathed, but with a crystal clear understanding that I need to drop the cell in the school zone.  And a sneaking suspicion that I should probably take Oprah's new no cell in the car pledge.

Upon further inspection of the warning when I got to work, I saw that under "Notes," he had written: 
"Gave warning.  9 months pregnant."

So, it's official.  I fought the law and Cheeze won.

Hope this finds you well.
--Heather

3 comments:

  1. Oh this is great. We love the Cheeze for many reasons. Now we can add "Gets you out of Traffic tickets" to the very very long list of reasons. Go Cheeseburger!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've been reading your blog this morning (LOVE it!), and this so far is my favorite post!

    ReplyDelete

Friday, February 26, 2010

I Fought the Law and...Cheeseburger Won

So, I am not entirely sure I should admit this, but I'm going to.  I was pulled over this morning on the way to work for talking on my cell phone. 

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, I wasn't driving like a crazy person, swerving or being erratic.  I just happened to be on the phone in a school district.  Uh, I'm not sure when that became law, but I definitely missed the fact that you can't be on your cell phone, at all, while driving through a school district.  Which is why I was brazenly chatting away with my sister while a cop drove right by me.

He did an impressive U-turn and my stomach started to sink.  Yup, he was coming for me.  Oh, crap.  I dutifully pulled over into a parking lot.  Cheeseburger and I were being detained by Johnny Law.

He came to the window and it was Cheeseburger's time to shine.  The police officer, it turns out, is a new parent himself.  It went something like this:

Me:   Good morning.

JL:  Good morning ma'am.  I saw you with your cell phone up to your ear.  Were you aware that you cannot talk on a cell phone in a school zone?

Me:  (honest gasp)  No...no, I didn't.  I'm so sorry.

[As I was reacting, I saw JL's eyes magnetically go straight to my fuschia-clad belly, which is now officially the size of a watermelon.  It was as if CB was waving hello while his inept carrier -- me-- apologized for totally and completely breaking the law like an idiot.]

JL:  [Looking back to the inept human carrier -- me]  Well, I'll just give you a warning, given your condition and all.  Uh, do you have your license and proof of insurance?

Me:  I am so sorry.  Thank you.  I was just telling my sister that I could go into labor at any time.

JL:  (eyes wide)  Ma'am,areyouinlabornow???

Me:  (realizing that he was about to go all lights and sirens and escort me to the hospital)  No, no.  I am not.  I just wanted her to be prepared for when it happens.

JL:  Okay, okay.  I'll be right back with that warning.



One warning later, I learned that JL's son is eight months old, day care is a germ factory, and that he wishes CB and I the best of luck when the big moment arrives.  I drove away unscathed, but with a crystal clear understanding that I need to drop the cell in the school zone.  And a sneaking suspicion that I should probably take Oprah's new no cell in the car pledge.

Upon further inspection of the warning when I got to work, I saw that under "Notes," he had written: 
"Gave warning.  9 months pregnant."

So, it's official.  I fought the law and Cheeze won.

Hope this finds you well.
--Heather
 
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