I Fought the Law and...Cheeseburger Won

So, I am not entirely sure I should admit this, but I'm going to.  I was pulled over this morning on the way to work for talking on my cell phone. 

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, I wasn't driving like a crazy person, swerving or being erratic.  I just happened to be on the phone in a school district.  Uh, I'm not sure when that became law, but I definitely missed the fact that you can't be on your cell phone, at all, while driving through a school district.  Which is why I was brazenly chatting away with my sister while a cop drove right by me.

He did an impressive U-turn and my stomach started to sink.  Yup, he was coming for me.  Oh, crap.  I dutifully pulled over into a parking lot.  Cheeseburger and I were being detained by Johnny Law.

He came to the window and it was Cheeseburger's time to shine.  The police officer, it turns out, is a new parent himself.  It went something like this:

Me:   Good morning.

JL:  Good morning ma'am.  I saw you with your cell phone up to your ear.  Were you aware that you cannot talk on a cell phone in a school zone?

Me:  (honest gasp)  No...no, I didn't.  I'm so sorry.

[As I was reacting, I saw JL's eyes magnetically go straight to my fuschia-clad belly, which is now officially the size of a watermelon.  It was as if CB was waving hello while his inept carrier -- me-- apologized for totally and completely breaking the law like an idiot.]

JL:  [Looking back to the inept human carrier -- me]  Well, I'll just give you a warning, given your condition and all.  Uh, do you have your license and proof of insurance?

Me:  I am so sorry.  Thank you.  I was just telling my sister that I could go into labor at any time.

JL:  (eyes wide)  Ma'am,areyouinlabornow???

Me:  (realizing that he was about to go all lights and sirens and escort me to the hospital)  No, no.  I am not.  I just wanted her to be prepared for when it happens.

JL:  Okay, okay.  I'll be right back with that warning.

One warning later, I learned that JL's son is eight months old, day care is a germ factory, and that he wishes CB and I the best of luck when the big moment arrives.  I drove away unscathed, but with a crystal clear understanding that I need to drop the cell in the school zone.  And a sneaking suspicion that I should probably take Oprah's new no cell in the car pledge.

Upon further inspection of the warning when I got to work, I saw that under "Notes," he had written: 
"Gave warning.  9 months pregnant."

So, it's official.  I fought the law and Cheeze won.

Hope this finds you well.
--Heather