As I mentioned a few days ago, I have been recovering from an emergency surgery for the past 2 weeks.  Everything about this experience has been challenging.

Physically, getting over a surgery stinks big time.  Regrowing blood from lots of blood loss is more exhausting than I can describe.

For me, though, the biggest challenge is always asking for help.  I am really, really bad at asking for help.  (I didn't even join a study group in law school.  I was all, Nah.  I'll just LEARN ALL THE THINGS by myself.)

And so, the experience of this emergency and the surgery and the recovery is being defined, at least to me, by the help we've asked for, the help that has been provided, and the easy love that we've received from our village.

My dear dad drove me to the emergency room so that we didn't send our children into years of therapy by making them watch an ambulance cart Mommy away.

Andy just happened to be in town from Pennsylvania for work.  So, of course, he came to our house and watched the kids so that Durel could jet to the hospital to see me before surgery.  Oh, and he didn't just hang out with Jack.  He taught him to play chess. 

 

Cristy dropped everything and flew to Austin.  She arrived from Albuquerque a few hours after I got home from the hospital.  She walked Jack to school, made me breakfast burritos, and kept us going for those first days home.

Jenny dropped everything and flew to Austin.  She arrived from Delaware the day after Cristy departed.  She walked Jack to school, made me breakfast burritos, made sure I napped enough, and kept us going for the next days home.

Liz brought me a delicious lunch and freezer-friendly dinner, even though she's 9 months pregnant and I should be making her dinners, not the other way around.

Jen and Trevor knew, before Durel and I even realized it, that the best gift for us may be quiet time. And so, they whisked Jack off to the pumpkin patch with their family on a balmy Texas afternoon.  (Durel, Sawyer, and I promptly slept the entire time our little dynamo was gone.  I mean, has anyone had a five year old boy wear a Fitbit?  I would love to know how many steps that kid gets in.  My guess is like 40,000 a day.)

Megan brought me coffee and donuts and changed poopy diapers when I couldn't lift Sawyer and the rest of my boys were on the soccer fields.

I am so lucky.  To be alive.   (This was a life-threatening event.)  To have these friends (and everyone else that I didn't specifically mention, thank you).  To have this family.  To have safe and accessible health care. (I didn't say affordable.  Ambulance rides cost a grand a pop, by the way.  HEYOO, deductible.)  

I'm about to turn 40.  A friend asked me how I felt about it.  I told her that I think it's fantastic.  I get to be 40.  And I'm lucky for that, too.

Hope someone lifts you up today.

Talk soon,

Heather

Napa, Part Two: morris and chuck

I forgot to finish my Napa story!  Where is my mind?  (Cue The Pixies, obviously.)

*     *     *     *     *

After the drive from San Francisco to Napa, we rolled into our delightful accommodations and were all -- now what? We were all that kind of tired where your eyes are burning and you think you're hungry and you barely know your name.

Ellen went to exercise (she is SO GOOD).  Nancy took a nap (she is SO SMART).  That left Mandy and I looking at one another with our crazy, tired eyeballs.

The conversation went something like this.  I don't remember who said what, because Mandy and I are basically brain twins, so it doesn't matter.

One of us:  What should we do?

The other one:  I don't know.

One:  Should we take naps?

[silence]

One:  I kind of want to explore.  You know, get the lay of the land.

The other:  Yeah!  Me, too.

One:  Find stuff.  See where downtown is.

In unison:  Totally.  Let's go.

*     *     *     *     *

We toured downtown Napa (cute!) and found Oxbow Market.

Oxbow Market is an industrial building converted into an open marketplace filled with outstanding gourmet food vendors, restaurants, and the like.  I could basically live there.

We walked in and saw an Italian restaurant, with a bar.  And I instantly could not believe that we HADN'T HAD ANY WINE YET.

So, we fixed that.

We decided that a selection of deliciousness from Oxbow would make a great dinner for us at the hotel.  Meats and cheeses!  Breads and olives!  Yes!  (Seems logical, but we were so tired, this was a pretty big idea for us.)

Rather than have too much fun without our friends, we drank our wine and then responsibly head back to the hotel, but not before stopping at the grocery store to buy (obviously) Diet Coke and water for our rooms.

And then we had this conversation:

Me:  You know, this is exactly what Morris (my dad) did every time we went somewhere.  Left us in the hotel to rest and then went off to "get the lay of the land."

Mandy:  Um, that's exactly what Chuck (her dad) did, too.  "Just gotta scope it out."

Me:  We are turning into our dads.

Mandy:  We are turning into our dads.

[smiles and silence]

*     *     *     *     *

If taking a 40th birthday trip to Napa didn't make us feel like real grown up adult type people, turning into Morris and Chuck certainly did.  And we really couldn't be happier.

Hope you are delighted with your own adulthood today.

Talk soon,
Heather

Napa, Part One: The Sappy Stuff

I moved from DC to San Francisco in 1998.  It was the high point of the "dot com boom."  

People talked a lot about angel money.  CEOs were like, babies. Corporate Foosball table ownership soared.

I worked for Burson-Marsteller, one of the big PR firm greats.  I did brand marketing.  One of my clients was Evite.  (They had a Foosball table AND a baby CEO.)

I lived in Nob Hill and walked to work in the Financial District because it was downhill the entire way.  I took the cable car home, because it was uphill the entire way and because, CABLE CARS.

I had not been to San Francisco since I left in 2000.  I went back last month.  I hadn't left my heart there, per se.  But a piece of it?  Yes.

Oooh, a plane trip without a baby.  That was nice, dude.

*    *     *     *     * 

We all moved to Lewiston, Maine in 1993.  They lived in Page.  I lived in Parker.  I think we all met at the orientation clambake.

(Yes.  We had an orientation clambake.  Bates is a divinely preppy place.)

None of us had gone to, like, Andover or Choate, so we didn't have automatic groups of pedigreed instafriends.  But, we found one another pretty quickly and have been friends ever since.

We realized that we've been friends now for longer than we haven't been friends.  (I love that.)

We decided to take a trip to Napa for our collective fortieth birthdays, all of which happen in 2015-ish.

I wouldn't say that I left part of my heart in Lewiston, per se.  But I did leave part of my heart wherever these ladies are.

And yes, the next post will have annoyingly gratuitous pictures of wine.  Just had to get the sappy stuff said first.

Hope you annoy someone with your unbridaled sentiment today.

Talk soon,

Heather

mom, this is my girlfriend, katy

I just don't even know what to say about this.  

It was taken recently at the birthday party of one of Jack's buddies.  The 4 year old hostess graciously invited her friends to join her at a local dance studio where a very charming and patient dance instructor attempted to teach them a choreographed dance to the song "Roar."

You know it.  Don't deny it.

Jack knows it, too.  And he knows the words and he sings them.

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

'cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar 

louder, louder than a lion 

'cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar 

He didn't dance.  But he did run around with the other dudes, get a green Fauxhawk, and pose for a picture with his new favorite gal pal, Ms. Perry.

Is that a smirk I detect?  Yes, I believe it is.

So, I just need to make peace with the fact that he's 3 1/2 going on 15, is that it?

Hope your leopard bikini makes you some new friends today.

Talk soon,
Heather

yes, I know it's December

We have two Christmas trees and one Advent calendar in full effect at our house.

We ate a lot of turkey and pie.

But before I move onto those things, I have to, just have to, share these pictures from Halloween.  Because I forgot and they're AWESOME.

And Jack is obsessed with all things super (including The Incredibles), and so it's late but apropos, anyway.  (Did you know that's how you spell apropos?  Not "apros pos", as I originally tried it?  Huh.)

Not sure how I did this, but it looks like he's TAKING FLIGHT.  Right?

Did you know Superman and Batman are besties?  I did.

Seriously.  Stopping crime in its tracks with sheer cuteness.

OK.  I'm back on track now.

Hope your day involves getting caught up on something totally important.

Talk soon,
Heather

partypartyparty

Jack had the pleasure of going to a buddy's pirate birthday party this weekend.  I wasn't there, but I heard that an amazing time was had by all.

Thanks to Emily for hosting yet another mAAARGHvelous party.  Thanks to Terra for capturing these moments of Jack enjoying the party.  And concentrating on enjoying the party.  He does have quite a bit of focus, doesn't he?

Hope your day includes thoughtful friends and high quality images.

Talk to you soon,
Heather

friends in texas

I am not a big fan of getting older.  (Every birthday I have, I pretend I don't care about the number, but that's really because I've spent the last 6 months "trying on" that age in my head, so by the time it rolls around, I'm almost used to it.)  (Also, I am very Type A.)

I am a big fan of realizing that you've been friends with someone for over ten years.  

I am an even bigger fan of realizing that their spouse, whom you have not met before, is like totally your best friend separated from birth.

Enter:  Kristin and Brandon.

Brandon and I went to law school together.  We were in the same section, so OBVS we're close and have stayed friends.  (Just kidding; it doesn't really work that way.  Our section was just really cool.  But, I digress.)  He married Kristin a few years ago in a stunning wedding that Durel and I could not attend because Jack was a baby and we were exhausted and broke.

They recently came to Austin for a few days.  It was super duper fun.  Super.  Duper.  Fun.

Here's some of what we experienced.

We also experienced 100+ degree temperatures, hours of awesome conversation, lots of wine, and lots of pettings, as demanded by Pablo and Lucy.

Suffice it to say, carnivorous, wine-drinking, intelligent, fun friends who you've either known for a decade or feel like you have, well, I like those.

Hope you have some laughs and some brisket today.

Talk soon,
Heather

milestones and pirates

Ten years ago, on Durel's birthday, he went to a Tool concert in San Antonio with his friends, Sean and Emily.  Sean and Emily liked each other, but I can't remember if they were dating.  Yet.

Durel and I liked each other, but we were not dating.  Yet.

This year for Durel's birthday, I blew it out.  2012 has been quite a year.  And of all the milestones worth celebrating, what better than a birthday and a ten year anniversary of us, you know, hanging out sometimes?

Ever the libation-conscious hostess, I set up a bar.  (The beer was outside.  You know there was beer.)

Liz, I blame the Fresca on you.  Also, world, note the Yoda napkins.

I made a ton of food, guys.  And I didn't take pictures of anything but this white bean and artichoke dip, which was totally awesome:

I found the recipe for the white bean dip on Two Peas and Their Pod.  I totally recommend it.  It's like hummus, but if you're like me and always forget to buy the tahini, you're still good.

I made a baked wheel of Brie, wrapped in dough, and covered with a raspberry chipotle sauce.  With apple slices for dipping.  Yum.

I also bought the spinach dip from HEB that is *addictive*.  With veggies for dipping.

And, the piece de resistance, I made the Pioneer Woman's veggie lasagna.  It's really good, guys.

And, of course, ten years later, Durel, Sean, Emily and myself were not out at all the cool bars, which we knew without having to ask or even ponder.  Nope.  We're all happily married and parents now, and so, instead, this happened:

Sorry, Emily. You are awesome.

With the help of our dear friends J&J&J, and T&M&D&L, other dear friends for the same decade, our boys (they're all boys, go figure) built what they were calling a "tree stick house."  Which entailed moving all of Durel's firewood from its neat pile near the fence to a pyre-like structure which helped the big guys to climb the tree.  

They're crafty.  We used to just have to watch out for ourselves, but now we have Jack and the Neverland Pirates to think about:

So, happy birthday, Durel.  And happy tenth anniversary of our hanging out-ness, Sean and Emily.  Here's to many more decades of all that fun.

Hope your day had some kick ass friends in it.

Talk soon,
Heather

Friends

Friends are the best thing ever, you know?

Jack and his buddy, Gabe, know that.  The other afternoon, they shared some dude time, some sliding, and some snacks together.

Hey, Jack, you've gotta try this.

Yeah, but I don't want to put down my ball.

Concentration, Part 1

Concentration, Part 2

I agree, Jack.  Friends make me feel happy inside, too.

Here's hoping your day had some great friendship moments in it.  Mine sure did.

And here's to infectious grins,
Heather

Super

The other weekend, one of Jack's buddies turned the whopping age of 4.  (Given my chagrin at Jack's approaching 2nd birthday, it's fair to say that I can't even count that high right now.  But, anyway.)  Connor's mom deftly threw him a superhero birthday party.  What kid, or what fun-loving adult, could ask for more?

Given how *crafty* I've been lately (again, heaping the praise onto Pinterest), I offered to make capes for the kiddos.

This post is not about how awesome I am, because it was not very hard.  The post is about how awesome the capes, and the party, were.  (Here is a link to the tutorial I used for the capes.  Note that I didn't do the Velcro step.  Which makes an easy craft Even Easier.)

Exhibit A:  SuperJack

Exhibit B:  Super Connor, The Birthday Hero

Exhibit C:  Super Heroes at the Pinata

Exhibit D:  Super Jude wants to be just like Super Dylan when he grows up

Exhibit F:  Superheroes Love Quesadillas

Hope your day is all that and more,
Heather

Balls

[Jeez, people.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Not that kind of balls.]

This Presidents' Day, Jack and his buddies had a date at the local bouncy house/ball pit/run until you're tired place.

It's Extremely Difficult to take pictures of toddlers at one of these places.  First, they move way too quickly to capture any quintessential moments on your camera.

Case in point:

The other reason that it's hard to take good pictures at the bouncy house place is because I found myself on my feet, running, climbing, chasing, spotting, and otherwise ensuring the relative safety of my child the entire time I was there.  That said, I even managed to lose him a few times.  Luckily, we moms traveled in a pack, so we all had a running tab on the whereabouts of all five kiddos.  (Except that time I forgot to watch where Mac was going.  Sorry, Marci!)

I do recommend going to this place.  But, I recommend a few preliminary measure to ensure success.

1.  Caffeinate before you go.  I cutely bought myself a Starbucks to take with me and enjoy while the kids ran around.  I drank it (you know me too well to assume otherwise, I hope), but I also had to make all of my friends hold it for me at some point while I dashed off into the climby ropey thing to make sure Jack was OK.  

2.  Wear comfortable clothes, including SOCKS.  Socks are required for everyone at the bouncy house place.  I now have a new, $2 pair of crappy socks that I purchased there because I naively wore my Toms.  I wore jeans, so my unintended acrobatics were not uncomfortable, but I saw lots of moms there in yoga pants.  I was jealous of their comfort and mobility.  I really was.

3.  Don't be too ambitious.  We had so much fun that we, the mommas, decided to go to lunch after.  (Yay!  Awesome plan!  We're friends and we're hungry!)  Great idea, except for the part where it wasn't.  Jack was tired.  It was naptime.  And honey badger didn't give a shit if I wanted lunch.

So, we had some queso which we ordered for the table, and then beat a hasty retreat for naptime and eating our food (now take-out) at a later time.

Hey, Jazmin, want some of my queso?  You can totally have some.

Queso?  Check.  Mardi Gras beads?  Check.

So, you know, that was our Presidents Day.  Hot coffee, bouncing toddlers, and shared queso.  It pretty much rocked.

Hope yours did, too.
Heather

Make Way for Baby C!

Earlier this month, I flew to DC to throw a super kicking (no pun intended) baby shower for one of my dearest besties, Kristina.

From the moment I landed, we were busy hamming it up.

The shower was at the home of another dear law school friend, Gina.  She's a ham, too.  (We hams stick together.)

As the sex of Baby C was unknown to the eager parents, the shower theme was sort of polka dotty and book-y.  Because who doesn't love polka dots and books?  Gina gets full credit for this amazeballs cupcake thing that she did.  She's not even on Pinterest, people.  She is just this awesome.

Kristina's wonderful, fantastic, brilliant and sassy sister, Anna, also ditched her college studies at Michigan to attend the party.  So irresponsible, Anna!  (I kid.)

Friends came.  They brought presents.

Which ranged from useful  and portable collegiate propaganda:

To useful and slightly cumbersome jumping paraphernalia:

The shower was not without its antics:

Or its share of sentiment:

Or its bump competition:

Suffice it to say, a good time was had by all.  Including me.  But, you know what?  After living in Texas for years, it's DAMN COLD in DC in the winter.  

But, I digress.  Kristina and Jamie, we love you!

Top Tens

I'm off to DC for the long weekend to help one of my dearest friends in the universe celebrate the impending arrival of her first baby.  I am co-hostess, and you know I brought the Pinterest to this party.  I'll be back with stories and pictures.

For now, seeing my friend on the verge of this massive life change makes me want to make lists.  (Don't judge.  You already knew I was Type A.)

Top 10 things you don't get to do once you have a baby

1.  Sleep in.

Source: fromdatestodiapers.com via Heather*Proper on Pinterest

2.  Run out of milk.

3.  Run "quick errands."

4.  Curse.

5.  Turn your cellphone off.

6.  Stroll stylishly.

Source: google.com via Heather*Proper on Pinterest

7.  Put off doing the laundry.

8.  Have disposable income.

9.  Drink to excess.

10. Deal with only the poop that you yourself generate.

Top 10 things you do instead, because you have a baby

1.  Get over being squeamish.

2.  Get over sleep.

3.  Learn to love coffee, if you didn't already.

Source: narcyzagambier.tumblr.com via Heather*Proper on Pinterest

4.  Learn to depend on coffee, if you didn't already.

5.  Say, "Yay!" and clap your hands a lot.

6.  Start buying absolutely everything you need for life at Target.

7.  Feel a new kind of love that you never realized was possible.

8.  Feel a new kind of fear that you never realized was possible.

9.  Stare at someone while they're sleeping.  (Ideally, your baby.)

10. Become utterly devoted to the safety and happiness of another human being.

It's going to be awesome, K and J.  Really and truly.

And I meant it about the coffee.

Heather

Date night

You know what happens when two people who *never* get a babysitter actually get a babysitter and go to a party?

They have fun.

Thanks, M & P.  You rock.

Heather